rekindleme | [Closed] Take Two

Entry tags:

[Closed] Take Two

Who: Kanji and Naoto
Where: Building #2, Rooftop
When: February 22nd, evening
Summary: After the chocolate debacle, it's time to stop being stupid about it and just be real.
Warnings: Bit of talking, lot of introspection.

Hey. Got some time? Hit me up on the roof as soon as you can. -Kanji

It was easy enough to send the text. It was another thing entirely to send it from on the roof and wait things out. But Saeng Seong hadn't been much the same after what happened over the previous weekend; some people still didn't look each other in the eyes, when before they spouted embarrassing poems to one another or sparkled in the public's general direction. Others, however, got a pretty good new perspective, saw their friends and co-workers in a whole new light. Some even coupled up after the events.

Kanji entertained himself for a time, mostly unfazed as he propped his gloved hands upon the edge of the building, watching people hurry home below, the snow crunching underfoot as they did. One person took a corner too fast and fell on their ass. All he could do was wince- didn't they work out how icy it was lately? Don't run on that shit.

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She had tried not to dwell on the elephant in the room during that dinner before, and was torn between hoping the subject would drop, and desperately wanting to talk things out.

This was so unlike her; she always wanted to find the truth, to solve the mystery. So why was she shying away this time? Why did she find herself trying to message Kanji, only to sigh and put down her communicator?

So she was surprised at Kanji's message. Surprised that he was the one taking the initiative this time. ~~And also that his texting was so good...~~.

When she arrived on the roof, she found Kanji staring out into the city scape. She noted that this was the longest Kanji had ever been way from home... and the largest city he'd ever been in. For all his time here, he'd adapted well. She adjusted her hat, the scraf and gloves from Christmas, before stepping out properly for him to see her.

"...Kanji-kun."

...Now what.

Dinner went as well as he'd hoped, but he felt the weight of the elephant, that nagging something that was never brought up. Riding on all the advice he'd been given - most of which telling him he'd been a giant fucking idiot for doing what he did in his panic - he sent the text and just didn't let himself think about it. If he tried to think, he panicked. If he panicked, he'd hurt her feelings again. He was so damn tired of his own stupidity upsetting others. It even made him think of that girl, years ago, that had started to cry because of him.

He heard his name and, god help him, he felt like he wasn't ready for just a moment. But it was the shyness thinking, and Kanji instead stood taller, turning to face her. He owed her that much, didn't he? He had to quit being a coward, especially now.

As he looked up, his expression briefly softened, caught off-guard by what she wore. "O-oh hey, so it all fits, huh? I was gettin' kinda worried I made 'em too small or--"

He paused, audibly cleared his throat, and looked away. Shit, he was letting himself get distracted again. Straightening his shoulders, he planted his hands on his hips and decided he'd just take the ground floor for a bit.

"So... I screwed up! I screwed up big time. What I did was shitty, and I wasn't usin' my head." His posture didn't last long before he started slouching a little, his hands sliding into his pockets. He sighed, his breath a mist in the cold.

"It's like I said- this was... kinda my first Valentine's, so I didn't think I'd get chocolate at all, let alone a... well."

"Honmei. I ain't losin' my mind, am I? That's what it was, right?"

"They fit perfectly; thank you again for them."

She continued walking towards him, stopping so she was a few feet infront of him, listening to his apologizes. She sighed softly, shaking her head.

"You don't need to apologize, Kanji-kun. I know it was the roses that were affecting both of you and for me to have held onto that anger was childish. I should be the one apologizing to you both. Though I do thank you sincerely for the dinner last night."

It was delicious after all...

At his question her cheeks reddened further; she nodded slowly as her eyes were unable to meet his.

"You're not the only one who experienced Valentines for the first time. Or, well... more so being on the 'giving' end, I suppose."

She... needed somewhere to focus other than him. Moving to stand beside him, Naoto looked out over the city herself, her hands gripping the edge carefully.

"Just because I am a detective certainly doesn't mean I know what I'm doing in social situations, you realize. I can play the interrogator or investigator with ease, but... dealing with emotions and such, I'm left scrambling to catch up."

She crossed her arms, leaning against the building as she tried to word out her thoughts.

"So, when I handed you that chocolate I was mad at you, yes, but I was also mad at myself. Mad that I wasn't doing it like I was 'supposed' to, that it wasn't matching what I wanted in my head, or even... knowing what I really wanted to happen."

Edited 2014-02-25 03:38 (UTC)

He had to wonder if he'd have been okay with a 'no', that he was reading too much into it. But her nod was exciting yet scary, answering so many questions and leaving him treading on brand new ground again. As he turned to look out at the city again as she settled in, got comfortable, he was letting it all sink in.

She... liked him. Anyone else would jump up and down in relief, scream that they've felt that same way for so damn long, yet Kanji felt stuck somehow. He just wasn't good at this kind of thing. He wondered how long she'd felt like that, wondered what the hell he did.

"Y'know as well as I do that what we're 'supposed' to do in life is stupid. Marchin' to the beat of your own drum's why I found ya so damn cool. Made me wanna keep goin' in a way, since you're a world-famous detective and everything, doin' the stuff you always dreamed of growin' up, right?"

He paused. "Uhhhm... but I guess I'm gettin' ahead of myself. W-what'd you really want to happen?"

"I know. We've seen the results of someone following the path 'set' for them by society, and it's something neither of us are comfortable with..."

But, she was blushing again. He wasn't saying that just for appearances; he meant it. He was too sincere, too blunt for pretenses and frivolities like she'd dealt with before, but that only meant she was entering more unfamiliar territory. How do deal with this appropriately...?

"To be honest, I... don't know. I suppose I have a lot of questions for you."

She flicked at some of the snow with her finger of the edge of the building, watching it fall down to the ground below.

"I do want to ask first, before anything else... were you... interested in me before we came to Saeng Seong?"

She wanted to know how long she'd been clueless. She needed to know.

Edited 2014-02-25 06:12 (UTC)

Always with the questions. But he couldn't be mad, really. Not now. Shit, he asked her to come up here in the first place. What could she possibly ask--

Oh. That. Holy hell, how did she know!?

His hands balled in his pocket and he stared straight outward into Saeng Seong. It was a simple question. A simple question. He just had to think it was a simple question, even if it made his stomach jitter.

"Y-... yeah."

He always had it all worked out better in his head. Meeting her on the roof, telling her everything, and then he'd feel a weight lifted off his shoulders. But was there really a wrong way to go about it?

"For a- for a while," he added, quietly, his voice cracking an octave.

"I... see."

And it all clicked into place. His reactions, responses, his inability to look her in the eye or talk to her at the very start...everything.

"I was very foolish not to be able to see, I suppose. I thought you simply didn't trust me or want to be my friend, but instead, you were just..."

She drew a breath, shaking her head.

"Rise-chan would be chiding us by this point, wouldn't she?"

Wait a second. A memory popped up. Kanji'd said at the very very start, that he wanted to see 'him' again, when they'd talked along the riverbank in that early month of May, before Kanji had vanished. She turned very slowly to look at him, blinking owlishly. It couldn't be, could it...?

"...Kanji, did you...Ah, I mean, were you interested..." Her voice came out soft, disbelieving but needing to know, "Even when you thought, I was...?"

Edited 2014-02-25 06:51 (UTC)

Not a tough question. Rise would absolutely be screaming at them right now if she were here.

But soon he felt eyes practically boring into him. He'd felt her stare long enough to know exactly what was up, and he couldn't look back at her. Kanji wagered that if he did, he'd lose it and start acting dodgy again. Focus on the city, watch the pigeons on the rooftop across the street, watch them poof up and look ridiculous...

...And there it was. He'd never specified how long he'd been interested, and figured she'd be satisfied with that. But when were heart-to-heart talks ever easy? Also, detective. Gotta remember that.

"S-so what?" He blurted.

"So what if I was? W-what's it matter if you were a chick or a dude? Y'weren't scared of me, you said I was interesting and wanted to just... talk to me!" He pulled his hands from his pockets, ruffling his own hair in mingled embarrassment and agitation.

"Y'know how it all went; I was actin' like an asshole and drove everybody away, I was all messed up! But... you never really saw it that way. You just kept comin' back to walk n' chat, and before I realized it, I just... I wanted to see you again! Then I got to know you better and it just kinda- kinda-" What's the damn word for it, when it gets all big n' crazy--

"...Snowballed."

She finished it for him. And if he'd have the courage to look at her, he'd see her cheeks were bright red. Turning her head away from him, she also focused on the city. He seemed to be taking the question she asked the wrong way, and she needed to correct him. When she spoke again, her voice took on an oddly gentle tone.

"I apologize if that question put you on edge. I didn't mean it in a demeaning way, Kanji. It's actually feels rather... nice, to know regardless of my gender you still found me, well. You still wanted to see me."

She bowed her head a little, feeling the like her cheeks were glowing, the heat was so great. Her heart was beating fast, her emotions all over the place in ways she'd never experienced before. It was a little... frightening, to be honest, but shying away from it wouldn't help.

"I was so focused on the case, on the investigation, on proving I wasn't a child and that I deserved to be respected that I had no idea... I'm sorry for not figuring it out sooner."

Finally turning to look at him again, she offered him a small, sheepish smile.

"I... am not very good at these things, I admit. When I made the honmei chocolate, it was partly to open up a dialogue with you about this, to see how you felt as well. Because, since coming here and getting to know you more, I've come to enjoy spending time with you."

Wait, that sounded a little...

"N-not that I didn't enjoy it before. Just... it felt less guarded, I suppose."

Edited 2014-02-25 08:55 (UTC)

He quietly pursed his lips. From all the teasing he got, it seemed everybody in the group worked it out, but that was because they were nosy. Didn't help when they were both kinda private people, but that didn't really matter much, did it? Not any more, anyway.

Kanji risked a peek, and felt his stomach tumbling right into his shoes. Gloved fingers tightened against the concrete of the ledge as he forced himself not to look away again. He could at least look at her, right? It can't be that hard, since it's been getting easier and easier to do lately.

"We also don't serial killers, weird goddesses n' TV worlds takin' up all our time. Didn't realize how much free time I got to myself without all that goin' on, even if it made things less boring. Oh yeah- School, too. We don't have to go to school! How cool is that?" No mandatory attendance policies, sneering teachers and obnoxious homework! That, and no sneaking around trying to get a part-time job and risking expulsion. He could live like an adult, damn it!

But the humor in his face fell to uncertainty, and he watched the glitter against the powder snow on the ledge.

"So, uh... so-" What happens now? All the comics he'd read ended up with some dramatic climax, some embarrassing gesture that he knew like hell he couldn't do without a slap to the face. Hell, he didn't even know if he was a good ki-

"Let's do it!" First thought in his head, drowning out stupid doubts. He can think about that later. He set his jaw and stood upright again.

"I-I mean, maybe we suck at social stuff, but we can figure this stuff out no sweat. We take it a step at a time." He didn't know about dating or what a boyfriend should do, but he could learn. He could do it in his own way, and she could in hers. That's how they always worked, and he didn't want that to change.

"It certainly is a well earned reprieve."

Naoto didn't mind school, even if sometimes the material was so easy she felt her eyes roll with annoyance, but she wouldn't deny the break had been enjoyable. Her eyes reminded on him during that pause; he seemed to be wanting to ask a question, but instead Naoto was surprised at his outburst. Just like that, he was ready to try?

Well, he did have a point; they both had to take things at their own pace. But that one nagging thought...

"...I feel as if I need to make sure you're knowing what you're getting into, Kanji."

She sighed softly, eyes turning back to the city skyline.

"I'm never going to be a 'typical' girl, nor do I necessarily wish to be. I'll never be like Yukiko-senpai, or Rise-chan. I won't be able to be a 'stay at home girlfriend' type; I love my work too much, have worked too hard to get this far... I'll be staying up long nights, and upon returning to Inaba... traveling far away for who knows how long."

Looking back at Kanji, Naoto's eyes softened, uncertainty evident there.

"I know you liked me for me, but whatever this relationship is, it won't be whatever we've seen in media and the like. I'm not a princess, or a proper Japanese girl. If you have any last reservations about this, or me... now's the time."

It really was just like him to charge right into it, but if he didn't step forward and man up now, when would he? Not even he knew.

But she spoke, and any well-built confidence was quickly shaken. She had some kind of disclaimer, something put forward that he had to- what- that he didn't already understand? She really did over think things. But she had a point- she wasn't gonna plant her roots or anything, but... h-he wasn't saying they were gonna run off right now to get married or something!

He sighed through his nose. It all made sense, but there was something he didn't like about what she was saying. He shook his head, folding his arms over his chest.

"Hey... ya don't think after all we've been through that I didn't know that already? You're the most devoted person I know, Naoto. Never seen anyone in their element like you were during the whole damn case."

But his eyes hardened as he turned them skyward. The air smelled smoky. It was gonna snow again tonight.

"...And I don't like princesses or 'proper' Japanese girls. Not about to start, neither. I like... I like smart, stubborn, mysterious, really cool girls who ain't too scared to stand up to people." But as he lowered his gaze, his hardened expression had broken. There was a ghost of a smile, something fond.

"I know one that tried ta make Christmas cake and asked what the hell a 'dab' is, what a 'dollop' is, and tried hiding pot stickers they made even when they weren't all that bad. I don't even remember how many I ate, but it was a ton, easy. But right now, she's comparing herself to other people, and that ain't cool. Hell, I even wore a weird outfit one time, ready for her to laugh at me, but she never did."

He turned, leaning back against the ledge. "I'd do it again, too. Not gonna lie, I lined it all up with silk and it was so freakin' soft..."

Turning along with him to stare out at winter night sky, Naoto listened to him speak. It was strange, but she realised after all this time, the two of them really had come along way. She hadn't really noticed just how long and detailed their conversations had become, how much more she knew about him now. And yet she still found herself wanting to know more.

It was more than just curiosity this time, though. More than just 'interest', too. When he described what she had done, with such fondness, her expression softened too, amazed that her childishness could be considered endearing to anyone. It took her a moment to figure out which suit he was talking about; her mind went to the Marilyn dress, but it settled back onto the butler he'd warn recently.

"You looked good in it, I'll be honest."

She smiled gently and taking a soft breath, let herself relax, leaning carefully against his arm. This was okay, right? It was so strange; they'd been ... well, touching one another in various ways since arriving in Saeng Seong, but this felt... different, yet completely familiar. She wondered why.

"Not to say we haven't seen one another in ...'interesting' outfits before."

Souji-senpai had interesting tastes in armor, after all. She chuckled at the memory, though Kanji's comments about a few outfits now were explained after all this time. After a moment of silence, Naoto nodded.

"If you're comfortable with this... let's try, then. I want to try."

Sheepishly scratching a cheek, he gave no reply. He thought he looked okay in a suit, but still wasn't exactly used to compliments. But in the low light, the color on his face darkened. Really, he was touched in his own wordless, gruff way.

"True. ...But some of 'em? I don't miss." Perhaps that outfit could be buried and forgotten. It took no brain-work to figure out which.

But he was taken from his thoughts by something touching his arm. It was like a spark at first, something jumping around in his chest, and he quietly swallowed. As he brought that arm out, slowly winding it around her shoulders instead, it may as well have been a summer evening; he didn't feel cold at all.

"Yeah." So that was- that was it, then. Getting out what was in his head as (what he thought was) a well-kept secret wasn't as terrifying as he thought it would be. Standing on the rooftop now, he felt like he was on the tallest building in the city, so much weight off of his shoulders. Just days ago, he would have dreamed of being where he was right now.

"...Thanks. Uhm- f-for hearin' me out."

Edited 2014-02-27 02:15 (UTC)

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[Closed] Take Two

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