Seriously, he's going to print up origin story pamphlets. Just see if he doesn't.

"Well, I was exposed to a powerful mutagen when I was just a baby, which made me grow and gave me human-like intelligence."

The turtle squats down so he can talk to the kid face to face. "I mostly just use the one staff. My brothers and I used to cross-train with a variety of weapons outside our normal ones back home, but I didn't have the whole arsenal on me when I got yanked here." He examines Diarmuid, trying to spot a weapon on him. "What kind of swords do you use?"