rekindleme | [open]

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Who: Steve Rogers and you
Where: The park
When: January 2
Summary: Steve does sad drawings and mopes because Bucky is back to his WS self. Then he feels bad for feeling upset.
Warnings: Sad Steve face

It has been 3 days since Bucky came back.

As soon as the de-aging stopped, he disappeared, probably went off to hide and isolate himself from Steve. He wasn't surprised and he still looked for him, but he mostly just left him alone this time. He had his own feelings, thoughts about the whole situation that he's been trying to keep to himself. He was happy to see his old friend- the one that wasn't brainwashed by HYDRA yet, but he knew that this was coming. He thought he could've prepared for it, but everything still just hurt.

But none of this was Bucky's fault, he could never blame him. He still loved him as a friend, cared about what was going on with him. But Steve couldn't deny that he really missed what he used to be. It wasn't fair to him though and he was trying, trying too hard judging by his attempts to be more personal lately. But it felt forced, like he just wanted to make Steve happy and he didn't want that.

So, Steve was just sitting by himself at the park bench, his sketchbook out and filled with drawings of Bucky in his World War II outfit and some in his Winter Soldier uniform. Most of the drawings were just of his head though, his expressions. It was easy to see that they looked so different even though it was technically the same face.

Right now, he was using the watercolor pencils Bucky gave him during Christmas, working on a drawing of Bucky staring at the fishes in the aquarium. Steve still looked a little sad and he could probably use some company, even though he was working on his sketchbook.

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Chromia was also trying to readjust to the aging scenario that had taken place. Bucky was back to normal (although she had quickly found out that her normal was in fact NOT normal), and it took a while for that to really sink in. She was happy to have him back, but in the end, Bucky was so much happier 'not normal', and so was Steve.

A part of her wonders if she'd have even made friends with Bucky prior to his personality now. It was hard to guess.

But she's overthinking, which is something she'd always been against from the start, really. She hated thinking too much, and here she was, lost in her thoughts as she walks through the park, almost not noticing Steve. But her blue eyes flick up from the ground, noticing him.

Curiously walking towards.

"Hey, sunshine."

Ever since Bucky returned to his current state, he didn't really talk about his time during his former self. Not much about his emotions or the people he interacted with. Steve didn't really think to ask him about it either, even though he probably should. He was just having a hard enough time not being upset in front of him. Making Bucky feel bad was the thing he wanted out of all this.

But Steve looked up from his drawing when Chromia spoke, forcing a little smile at her comment.

"Illuminating the entire bench, aren't I?" He tried to go along with the joke at least. "It's been a while, Chromia."

"Too long."

She wouldn't admit it, but Steve had quickly weaseled his way into her spark. Then again, with his bright attitude and usually cheery disposition, he often was reminded of Windblade. Idealistic, always thinking the best of people. It was hard not to like him.

So the smirk of hers is pretty visible, as she leans over the back of the bench, trying to see just what he's working on.

"Things came up--mostly my fault, but I'm back in action now, and ready to keep you guys out of trouble."

Better now than never, and Steve really needed to focus on maintaining contact with his other friends. It wasn't like doing so was such a burden either; talking with Chromia was always pleasant. She had a wit to her, but still well-intentioned and friendly.

Plus, she could transform into a motorcycle. That alone was just really neat.

Steve didn't want to dig into the 'things that came up,' especially if she didn't feel like talking about it. So he just smiled, starting to become less strained as he spoke to her. "We can't help ourselves." No point denying that, they always get into trouble somehow. "Started young and now stuck in our ways. Bucky's fault, really."

Actually, it was Steve's, especially back in Brooklyn. But details.

Consider it a blessing, Steve. You're just too perfect to be snippy at.

She appreciates the lack of questioning with what'd happened. It wasn't something she was proud of, and the lack of contact had done quite a number on her. She was doing better, now, and that's all that really mattered.

"I've heard most humans are like that. Stubborn and always leap before looking."

Her eyes cast to the drawing, optics dimming only slightly.

"Funny, I bet he'd say the same about you."

"Bucky always thought I could be the poster child for that." Always getting into fights, even though he knew he couldn't win at all back then. Bucky had to pull him out of trouble all the time. ...And he still did that for him now, here and there. He wanted Steve to be safe, he knew that.

And Chromia knew Bucky- at least the one that had shaggy hair and a shiny metal arm. He wondered if she got the chance to meet Bucky before he became like that; her comment made him start to think that was the case.

"...You met him then?"

Bucky was like that. Chromia knew what that was like, always trying to protect and pull another out of trouble. That was the job of a bodyguard. And more importantly, she wanted them to be safe as well.

But at Steve's question she heaves out a 'sigh', optics searching the park in thought. "Yeah...the real one I guess you could say. He was...certainly different."

It was hard to place one above the other. After all, they were BOTH Bucky...

Steve couldn't help but flinch a little when Chromia said the 'real one.' It was something that he had thought before, but to hear it being said out loud... he had to defend his best friend. Bucky was just different now, traumatized because of HYDRA. He still mattered to Steve, perhaps more than anyone he knew here.

"This Bucky is as real as the other one." Steve sounded vaguely upset, but he wasn't angry at her. "Even if he acts completely different, he's always there for me. Makin' sure that I'm okay." The person that he could always count on, ever since they were dumb boys in Brooklyn.

She notices that flinch, and can't help but slightly bite her lip. Her words were often more blunt than most, and only now was she starting to realize just how much so. Cap wouldn't hold it against her, certainly, but...that feeling in her spark that maybe it wasn't the correct wording. That maybe it hurt people.

Unintentionally, but in the end that doesn't really matter.

But her expression softens. "You're right. He's always looked out for you, then and now." Okay, good so far. She's trying to do this support thing right. "He's lucky to have you...and you with him."

Her fingertips touch a moment, before sitting next to him. The seat creaking under the pressure.

"Not even this world can break that."

Steve merely nodded at her words. Yes, they still looked after each other and he was really lucky to have Bucky with him. He wasn't sure if Bucky was lucky to have him in return, but he was gonna do his damn hardest to be that person at least. ...And the first step would to be less upset around him, even though Steve has already accepted that his friend significantly changed.

He looked over at Chromia when she sat down next to him, not really caring about how the bench was creaking a bit.

"...Strangely enough, this world helped us." Steve admitted, thinking about how the last time he saw Bucky before Saeng Seong, he was punching him in the helicarrier. "Gotten closer since coming here."

"I know the feeling. I've..."

Her fingertips touch, interlacing between her legs as she sighs.

"I didn't feel at home, back home. Cybertron--where Ironhide's from--it's not my world, and yet everyone kept going on about how it was. I hated it."

She had trouble adapting, much like someone they both know.

"But this world...it made me see the better parts through all the scrap. I think...Bucky sees that too."

Steve understood the feeling of not being at home all too well. The future was great in some ways, but he was still lost about a lot of things. Of course, he had a mission now since Bucky came back into the picture, but before that, he was just kinda going through the motions. Threw himself at missions.

But Bucky was going to have it much harder than him when they get back... although if he kept his memories of this place, it might not be as bad.

"Having him away from HYDRA, making friends again... it really helped him."

"...HYDRA."

That's the first time she's heard that. And it sounded important. "Whatever it is, doesn't sound too good. Is that what made him..."

She tries to pick her words carefully. None of them seem to fit.

"Is that what changed him?"

He tried not to cringe when she said 'made him,' but Steve couldn't stop the full movement from happening. At least she corrected herself, so he just went along to answer her question.

"...Yeah." That was the short story, one word answer to everything really. Yes, it was Zola's fault, Pierce's as well. Everyone involved with that organization. Steve wasn't innocent in it either, since he was the one that failed to save Bucky from falling off that train. If he was faster, he would've saved him and Bucky might've led a normal life.

Instead, he was forcibly changed and he even killed Howard Stark, a person that was a friend and ally back in the war. Steve just should've destroyed HYDRA fully before he went down with the plane as well.

"They captured him." Steve didn't say anything else though, figuring that said enough about what happened.

Short answers, while not providing much to the listener, were perfect for Chromia. The way Steve said it...that alone told a story. She could sense the weariness, the guilt...things she knew all too well herself. The regret, too. That was always there.

"I'm sorry." She hopes that's enough to convey the message, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"He's healing, though. Guess all the time with you's done something."

Steve smiled a little at the gesture, truly grateful for the support. Sure, he still felt guilty about Bucky and that feeling probably would never go away, but Chromia's words were definitely appreciated. He knew he couldn't just dwell in guilt forever, it wouldn't help anyone.

"Not just me. His friends here- you, Bucky's healing because of that too." He needed friends outside of Bucky as well and talking to Chromia like this helped him a lot.

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