Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier) (
heismymission) wrote in
rekindleme2014-07-02 02:39 am
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time to bite the bullet
Who: The Winter Soldier and YOU. Later: Steve Rogers enters the fray.
Where: A) Outside housing building 1 and elsewhere; B) an alleyway in district 3; C) district 2
When: A) The last week of June, day or night; B) July 1, day; C) July 2, night
Summary: Bucky A) climbs out windows, B) has a bad flashback, and C) confronts Captain America.
Warnings: Possible violence, allusions to torture and amputation and stuff?? His life is awful basically.
The Winter Soldier was not having a good time.
For one, the past two weeks had been used getting accustomed to the fact that he was not only still not HYDRA's asset anymore, but that he was on an entirely different planet that somehow looked very much like his own from what he could tell, not to mention the aliens, the touch quota that he was largely ignoring, being both more and less noticeable in a way that made him uneasy, people trying to talk to him when he had no idea how to carry on a conversation, and fighting some asshole in a flying metal suit.
Oh, and there was the fact that whoever was in charge of assigning the newcomers rooms put him right next to Steve Fucking Rogers, otherwise known as the giant mess of memories and emotion he couldn't handle right now, or any time in the near future. It had been a miracle that he managed to avoid being seen when he first entered his room, and in the days after he learned the man was there, he listened carefully to his neighbor and for the most part, used his window as an entrance and exit. He didn't care about anyone else noticing him; HYDRA wasn't here. The mission was the only one whose attention he was particularly interested in avoiding. But at least he had the presence of mind to wear long sleeves and make his metal arm less conspicuous.
-
He'd done a bit of hunting, in the meantime; he was particularly good at remaining hidden when he tried, and had scoped out the people Rogers interacted with both in person and on the network, taking note of each and whether they were likely to share any information about the assassin, should they encounter him. Much to his irritation a few of those he'd encountered appeared to know Rogers, and though he hadn't observed them speaking to him about the man with the metal arm, it seemed likely to him that they would inform him of a local threat. As soon as he heard a description of him, certainly Steve would try to find him. So why had he seen no attempts to locate or contact him...?
As the days passed, he started to become more distracted by the increasing lack of mobility in his arm, which was thanks to the damage incurred during the only fights in his memory and the amount of time that had passed without maintenance; it put him at a major disadvantage. He wasn't about to trust any of the people who were involved in bringing him here, so he decided to search for anyone who might be able to repair it, clad in his long sleeved jacket and cap to help keep him from being noticed. But he wasn't certain if he would trust anyone to do it even if he did find someone.
The soldier was deep in thought as he made his way through a quiet, dark alley on his way to do some surveillance, wondering about his arm and if he'd ever had it in such a terrible state before. The technicians always did their work quietly, he was fairly certain, so he never knew much about the details. The most he could recall was shortly after they attached it--
"The procedure has already started--"
--how he came inches from breaking the man's neck, not caring about whatever he had to say about the way his new, gleaming arm functioned--
"You are to be the new fist of HYDRA--"
--and without knowing why or when he'd started screaming, or where his anger had come from, he slammed his malfunctioning fist into the brick wall, causing it to crumble. But the anger didn't fade, and the images didn't either. The recollection of a saw whirring and cutting into the remnants of his arm nearly caused his knees to give, and he fell back against the opposite wall to support himself before slamming his elbow into that and letting out another, shorter yell that ended almost like a whimper.
He was a short way from the main roads, but to say it was audible was an understatement. Unfortunately for him, he may have attracted some attention--hopefully attention that would either not startle him or that would be prepared for his volatile state of mind.
-
He realized the day after that he was malfunctioning both physically and mentally, and that he wasn't certain if he could keep moving forward like this on his own. As much as he hated it, he needed help. And the one person who could help him the most was hismission neighbor target--Steve.
He might have prayed that the man's claim that they were friends were true if he knew what praying was or trusted that any higher power would want to assist him.
Instead he prepared for the worst; he had no intention of meeting the man in either of their apartments or inside a building; it would be safest to meet him in some neutral ground, where he could possibly escape and remain hidden until... until he no longer needed to. He found the thought unpleasant, so he didn't plan very far ahead.
He sent an anonymous text message to Steve on the network in the early morning hours: 2200 hours d2 2 blocks ne of hospital. alone
The soldier found a dark place he could see the entire street there and waited, hidden.
[OOC: Make sure to tell me what option you'd like: either noticing him using a window like a door and what date, OR noticing the ruckus he's causing from the flashback and if you have a preference for a more violent Bucky or a more catatonic one.]
Where: A) Outside housing building 1 and elsewhere; B) an alleyway in district 3; C) district 2
When: A) The last week of June, day or night; B) July 1, day; C) July 2, night
Summary: Bucky A) climbs out windows, B) has a bad flashback, and C) confronts Captain America.
Warnings: Possible violence, allusions to torture and amputation and stuff?? His life is awful basically.
The Winter Soldier was not having a good time.
For one, the past two weeks had been used getting accustomed to the fact that he was not only still not HYDRA's asset anymore, but that he was on an entirely different planet that somehow looked very much like his own from what he could tell, not to mention the aliens, the touch quota that he was largely ignoring, being both more and less noticeable in a way that made him uneasy, people trying to talk to him when he had no idea how to carry on a conversation, and fighting some asshole in a flying metal suit.
Oh, and there was the fact that whoever was in charge of assigning the newcomers rooms put him right next to Steve Fucking Rogers, otherwise known as the giant mess of memories and emotion he couldn't handle right now, or any time in the near future. It had been a miracle that he managed to avoid being seen when he first entered his room, and in the days after he learned the man was there, he listened carefully to his neighbor and for the most part, used his window as an entrance and exit. He didn't care about anyone else noticing him; HYDRA wasn't here. The mission was the only one whose attention he was particularly interested in avoiding. But at least he had the presence of mind to wear long sleeves and make his metal arm less conspicuous.
He'd done a bit of hunting, in the meantime; he was particularly good at remaining hidden when he tried, and had scoped out the people Rogers interacted with both in person and on the network, taking note of each and whether they were likely to share any information about the assassin, should they encounter him. Much to his irritation a few of those he'd encountered appeared to know Rogers, and though he hadn't observed them speaking to him about the man with the metal arm, it seemed likely to him that they would inform him of a local threat. As soon as he heard a description of him, certainly Steve would try to find him. So why had he seen no attempts to locate or contact him...?
As the days passed, he started to become more distracted by the increasing lack of mobility in his arm, which was thanks to the damage incurred during the only fights in his memory and the amount of time that had passed without maintenance; it put him at a major disadvantage. He wasn't about to trust any of the people who were involved in bringing him here, so he decided to search for anyone who might be able to repair it, clad in his long sleeved jacket and cap to help keep him from being noticed. But he wasn't certain if he would trust anyone to do it even if he did find someone.
The soldier was deep in thought as he made his way through a quiet, dark alley on his way to do some surveillance, wondering about his arm and if he'd ever had it in such a terrible state before. The technicians always did their work quietly, he was fairly certain, so he never knew much about the details. The most he could recall was shortly after they attached it--
"The procedure has already started--"
--how he came inches from breaking the man's neck, not caring about whatever he had to say about the way his new, gleaming arm functioned--
"You are to be the new fist of HYDRA--"
--and without knowing why or when he'd started screaming, or where his anger had come from, he slammed his malfunctioning fist into the brick wall, causing it to crumble. But the anger didn't fade, and the images didn't either. The recollection of a saw whirring and cutting into the remnants of his arm nearly caused his knees to give, and he fell back against the opposite wall to support himself before slamming his elbow into that and letting out another, shorter yell that ended almost like a whimper.
He was a short way from the main roads, but to say it was audible was an understatement. Unfortunately for him, he may have attracted some attention--hopefully attention that would either not startle him or that would be prepared for his volatile state of mind.
He realized the day after that he was malfunctioning both physically and mentally, and that he wasn't certain if he could keep moving forward like this on his own. As much as he hated it, he needed help. And the one person who could help him the most was his
He might have prayed that the man's claim that they were friends were true if he knew what praying was or trusted that any higher power would want to assist him.
Instead he prepared for the worst; he had no intention of meeting the man in either of their apartments or inside a building; it would be safest to meet him in some neutral ground, where he could possibly escape and remain hidden until... until he no longer needed to. He found the thought unpleasant, so he didn't plan very far ahead.
He sent an anonymous text message to Steve on the network in the early morning hours: 2200 hours d2 2 blocks ne of hospital. alone
The soldier found a dark place he could see the entire street there and waited, hidden.
[OOC: Make sure to tell me what option you'd like: either noticing him using a window like a door and what date, OR noticing the ruckus he's causing from the flashback and if you have a preference for a more violent Bucky or a more catatonic one.]
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The images of Bucky falling from the train were still fresh in his mind, even though he was trying to move on from everything that had happened to him. It wasn't so easy, especially with all this back and forth from Saeng Seong to Earth, but he was trying. He wanted to move forward and help people, throw himself at work, but he never really felt truly happy since waking up from the ice.
Seeing people here again helped, but everything was soured a bit since he was going to say good-bye to them eventually. He never really expressed these things to others, but they were thoughts he still had.
"I." He swallowed past the lump in his throat as he spoke to Bucky. His friend was quiet, quieter than the time when he rescued him from Zola's base. But Bucky still recognized him if he contacted him like this. "You fell. From the train."
Could he be from his future? Just like how he met Tony here?
no subject
He specifically had to focus on the fact that Steve was remarking on something that happened far in the past as opposed to what had happened most recently.
"Seventy years ago," he clarified, his gaze returning to the captain as his frown began to deepen. "We fought. A month ago. On the helicarrier."
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He walked closer to him, wanting to hug him after missing him for so many months. Sure everything was confusing and he had no idea what was going on, but Bucky was still here. And alive. That was something he should be happy about, right?
...Except he heard the comment about them fighting.
"Bucky..." He of course didn't remember any sort of fight on a helicarrier. But that just reinforced the idea that Bucky was from his future. Why would he attack Steve? Was he angry? But he wasn't trying to harm him now, so that was something to be positive about. "I've never fought you. ...Not yet, anyway."
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This whole thing had been a bad idea.
The assassin shook his head, looking from Steve to the street and the surroundings like he was calculating the best escape route.
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"Don't leave." He knew what he was trying to do, Bucky wanted to leave him. But Steve didn't want that to happen, not after he just reunited with his best friend again. "I've been wanting to see you again."
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"You don't--you're supposed to remember," he said, almost sounding desperate behind the monotone. If Steve didn't remember, what chance did he have? Had this place done something to him? He wasn't thinking clearly enough to recall the things about how time worked with this place--he was using about all his energy on thinking of how to deal with a Steve who remembered what happened between them.
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"But I still remember you. Everything we went through together, in Brooklyn. In the war." It was obvious that Bucky had been through a lot- and he obviously survived the fall. Was he captured by someone then? Most likely HYDRA... but that group was long gone. So did some other organization bring Bucky back to the modern time?
Steve didn't understand. But whatever was happening now, Steve had to take responsibility for. It was his fault that Bucky fell off that train. His fault for whatever reason Bucky was standing before him now, with a metal arm and a different personality.
"I'll listen to whatever you want to say to me. We're friends." At least, Steve hoped that they were. He still thought of Bucky as his friend, no matter what. If Bucky blamed him for what happened, then he would accept that too.
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But Steve could still remember their past. Wasn't that what mattered? He'd sought him out because he'd know what to do to help him with the flashbacks that left him vulnerable for several minutes, which was several minutes too long. He would... he would help. Wouldn't he?
There was a long pause after Steve stopped speaking before he forced himself to reply.
"I don't."
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Sure his explanation sounded far-fetched and out there, but it still hurt a little to see his long lost friend doubt him. Bucky never really doubted him before like this, not when it came to important stuff like this. Steve just had to remember that it wasn't his fault, so he just pushed away the hurt as he watched Bucky stay silent for quite some time.
When he finally did speak again, Steve's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand what he was getting at. He didn't...? Didn't remember their past? That was the only thing he could think of. But... he had to be sure. To really know if that what Bucky was referring to.
"Don't remember us?" Steve couldn't stop himself from sounding a bit pained, unable to push everything back this time.
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"Not anything," he clarified, sorely wishing his left arm was functioning properly. At least then he wouldn't be both physically and psychologically vulnerable.
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"What." Steve started to speak, but it took him a moment to complete what he was trying to say. "What happened?" Maybe he got amnesia from the fall? It was a long drop after all. And then later on, he met Steve in the 'future.' That didn't explain why he looked so young still.
He just wanted to make sense of all this. Someone he thought he would never see again was right in front of him, but also completely different from the person he knew. The person from his memories.
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He clamped his mouth shut to keep himself both from lying and from explaining. He may not have remembered everything, but he knew enough of what was done. But informing Steve he was a weapon of HYDRA, when he'd died to stop the organization... he didn't know if it would paint him as a target or not. For whatever strange reason, this captain didn't know of the Winter Soldier. He only knew him as Bucky Barnes, his best friend since childhood. Perhaps it was a good idea to keep it that way.
Maybe if he was lucky, Steve would take his words as genuine and fill in the blanks. Not telling the truth when it was asked of him left an unpleasant buzzing in the back of his head, but he was too jittery about what the captain was capable of to let it influence him.
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"You wanted to talk to me, right? It's why you sent me that message." Steve tried to push forward, trying to talk to Bucky still. "I want to help." Bucky didn't look like he was having a great time here, what if he wasn't getting enough physical contact? He wasn't going to let him suffer alone.
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But the man who knew him his whole life probably did.
He just had to keep telling himself that Steve only saw him as Bucky. If he could keep it that way and keep his mouth shut about the mission, maybe he could get... better. Even if he didn't know what better really entailed.
"I don't know what to do," he replied, and it couldn't possibly be more true.
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"I won't have all the answers, but I'm here for you."
Bucky was always there for him and Steve wanted to do the same. He was a lot more unsure of himself and it wasn't something he often saw. But it just made Steve even more determined to help.
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'Cause I'm with you til the end of the line.
His nails dug into the palms of his working fist and he nodded, waiting for Steve to come closer and give him some direction or order. He must have had some of the answers. The soldier only needed one at a time to keep moving forward.
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He stepped forward and wrapped Bucky in a hug, closing his eyes as he did so. There were still so many things he wanted to say to him, but for now, he just kept quiet. Steve just wanted to hug him and be close to Bucky, since he never thought he would have this chance again.
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Steve still hoped that this provided him with some comfort though. How long did Bucky go without someone watching his back? He was sent to fight Steve and that was all he knew, so maybe he was helping him in the future. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but for now, he just tried to focus on this moment.
"...I've missed you, Bucky."
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Of course it made some sense. Missing his best friend since childhood sounded natural; they must have spent a lot of time together their whole lives. But he had no memory of those times and thus had nothing to miss; he did not understand the feeling as being directed towards him, but rather towards that friend of Steve's he couldn't comprehend being. The soldier just happened to inhabit the body Bucky once did.
"How long," he said, hardly bothering to make it sound like a question.
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Not at all"Asleep under the ice for almost 70 years. Been awake for a few months now." Dealing with everything had become a little easier as the months went by, better than when he initially woke up, but things were never easy. But whatever Bucky had been through, it was probably a lot worse. Of course he didn't know for sure, but for him to be so different now... obviously a lot of things happened to him.
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"Two thousand eleven," he said, meeting the other super soldier's eyes like he expected a response.
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"About 5 months in this city." Of course that meant no actual time had passed for him back on Earth, but he was still aware and awake right now. It counted. Time was always somewhat of a mess for him though, no matter where he went. And then there was the whole 'forget about everything in Saeng Seong unless you're in Saeng Seong' deal. That wasn't much fun and he doubted Bucky would appreciate it either.
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Alien invasion? As his brow creased further, the soldier opened his mouth slightly and took in a breath, seeing that Steve was completely serious about what he was saying. He... had a lot more to catch up on than he originally thought.
He'd already been made aware of the loss of memory induced by the city thanks to Diarmuid, and he'd already dealt with that knowledge by finding a few empty abandoned places and wrecking them; it was about all he could do with the information. So his goal now was mostly to survive, and he had a feeling he had a better chance of doing that with Steve in the picture.
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What was going on?
"You didn't know about that?"
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