rekindleme | [open] wah wah etc

Entry tags:

[open] wah wah etc

Who: Shinju Gouka & you!
Where: District 3, District 4, District 1 (towards his apartment)
When: November 19th, mid afternoon to early evening
Summary: His roommate left. He's taking it badly.
Warnings: Copious amounts of tears, general misery

He'd been fine, for a while. He just didn't let himself think about it. He went out to work, explored the city in his free time, didn't allow himself to sit in the silence of the apartment any longer than necessary. He could pretend they'd just been missing each other by the fact that they were both so busy with other things. He was just asleep by the time Shinju got back, and there was no reason to disturb him.

That went on for about a week and a half.

It got to the point where he couldn't pretend anymore. Yu was gone and might never be back, and Shinju had no idea how to handle that information. He hadn't been sleeping well and he was on edge, feeling like if he tried to think too hard on his roommate's absence the floodgates would open and there'd be no stopping the negativity.

But apparently whatever was in charge here thought some kind of floodgates should open--Shinju was out in the shopping district continuing his attempts at distracting himself when the sky practically fell on him, and he hadn't had the foresight to carry an umbrella. Not that he could bring himself to care about being wet, but.

He blinked water out of his eyes, clamping his mouth shut as he started to look for somewhere more private--a bench in the park, maybe, since no one would probably be there in this weather.

A nineteen year old sobbing in the rain because his friend finally went home. He felt pathetic.

[OOC: Feel free to encounter him as he's walking or when he's made it to the park, or a little later when he's near his apartment and calmer (or at least, not sobbing).]

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Once he is sure everything Shinju needs to make his tea is there, Diarmuid carries his mug back into the living room and crawls up on the couch. Grey wastes little time joining him, but White decides to stay near Shinju for now. Hopefully, the excited puppy won't get in the way too much.

After taking a few sips of his cocoa, he sits it down for a moment because it is a little too warm, "Do you want me to get more towels or a blanket? If you want to take off your wet clothes, I can put them into the dryer!"

Diarmuid would offer some dry clothes if he had some that would fit Shinju, but he doesn't.

"I'm--I'm okay," he stammers after a moment, standing at the counter and waiting for the tea to brew. He's really not in the mood to answer any questions the scars on his chest might bring forward, not that he would blame the boy. It's difficult enough in the summer when the one on his right arm is in clear view.

He looks to where Diarmuid sits, thinking that's probably where he'll head after his tea is ready. His legs are a little tired.

"Just another towel, maybe. So I don't get your couch wet."

"Okay, I can do that! Make sure neither of the puppies get into my cocoa. I don't want them to get burned!" He hops down off the couch and runs into the bathroom to grab another towel. There is some splashing in the bathroom, and a few moments later Diarmuid comes out not only with the requested towel, but he has Lir in his arms as well.

"I hope you don't mind if Lir joins us. I didn't want him to get lonely!" Diarmuid sets the towel onto the other side of the couch and then climbs back up on it, which is something of a show in and of itself considering he is juggling Lir too. Soon, though, he is settled again with a puppy on one side and Lir in his lap.

He just kind of forgot to grab his cocoa. Oops...

Shinju does as asked, picking up Diarmuid's cup along with his own so the dogs can't get at it. They do seem to be pretty excitable.

Although he's a little confused by the sight of the pokemon, he doesn't figure anything raised by Diarmuid could be that dangerous, honestly. He finally sits down on top of the towel and sets his own drink down on the table for now.

"Here," he says, offering the cocoa to the boy, since he sees it would be fairly difficult to move around now that... all of them are settled in.

"Thank you!" Diarmuid shifts Lir slightly so that he can take the cup without accidentally spilling on the pokemon. He tests the drink now that it has had time to cool and then happily drinks some when he finds it is now not so hot. Once he is done, he looks up at Shinju.

"I don't think you have met Lir yet, have you? He is a pokemon. A horsea! He's going to be my partner and will help me fight when we are both bigger...if we need to fight anyway," Diarmuid hopes that won't be the case but with how things have been changing it is so hard to say what the future will hold.

"Uh, no," Shinju replies as he picks his own drink up, not sure what else to say. He sniffs briefly, watching the blue pokemon for a second.

"Where'd you get him?" he asks, not wanting to think about the boy and his pet fighting. He hates violence, and he's done just about everything he can to avoid it here.

"There used to be kids here who had them on their world. Their names were Crystal, Silver, and Gold! When they came here, their pokemon came with them and, eventually, they had eggs. They were nice enough to give the eggs to three people and I was one of them! I..." Diarmuid pauses a moment, suddenly looking sad. "I might be the only person left who has one from that group." He hugs Lir tighter and the horsea leans into his owner to comfort him.

"We are in no hurry to start fighting, are we Lir? For now we are just having fun being together!" The pokemon blows a few bubbles to show his agreement. Hopefully, it won't startle Shinju too much.

Shinju watches Lir and Diarmuid for a few moments--bubbles are nothing to be afraid of, and he's already wet anyway--before he takes a sip of the hot tea. He lets out a long breath before he speaks.

"I guess pretty much everyone here has seen someone they like go home," he says. "I don't know why I got all shaken up when I knew it was going to happen at some point anyway."

When Diarmuid first met Professor Oak and Dragonite, they were startled by the bubbles. They actually thought that Lir was attacking them! As a result, Diarmuid tends to worry even when he probably doesn't need to.

"It still hurts!" Diarmuid looks up at Shinju, a serious look in his eyes, "Just because you know it might happen, doesn't mean you can be ready for when it does. The pain is still real."

It hurts Diarmuid so much to think about the fact that his brother might leave someday. He will probably end up being in the same shape--if not worse--than Shinju is now. Some pain a person can't prepare for no matter how hard they try.

The way the boy raises his voice makes Shinju meet his eyes, and for a moment, there's an unreadable expression on his face--he's forcing himself to be blank over the pain he's being reminded of.

He turns to stare into his cup.

"I've lost a lot of people both here and back home," he admits quietly. "I thought I would be used to it by now, is all."

Diarmuid shakes his head probably harder than he has to, "Some pain you can never get used to. The emptiness will always be there, but that's not always a bad thing. It makes sure you never forget that person!"

Much like Diarmuid was forced to forget who he lost...

The boy sighs and looks down at his cup much like Shinju is, "I lost someone back home and I can't even remember who it is. No matter how hard I try, I can't. All I know is I have an empty spot in my heart..."

Hearing that someone as young as hopeful as Diarmuid had to lose someone is bad enough, and it makes him frown in concern as he looks back to the boy. For several moments, he doesn't know what to say.

"That's awful."

Having to feel the loss and not knowing anything about it, not even having any positive remnants that you could comfort yourself with. It's hard enough being able to remember.

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine what that's like."

Diarmuid looks back up and gives Shinju a small smile, "Thank you, but you don't have to be sorry. It's the fault of the person who took them away, but father said he paid for it and I trust him. Now I just have to make sure I work hard, so that when I become a knight I can keep people from having to feel like I do!"

Will he be able to help everyone? Of course now, but he is sure going to try!

Shinju can't meet Diarmuid's eyes; he has to look down.

"That's really noble of you, you know."

All he's done with his pain is wallow in self-pity and become determined to not get hurt again. He has sympathy for people, but he's tired of being in painful situations. He's only so willing to put himself in them for the sake of others these days.

Diarmuid shrugs, "It's just what I want to do! I like helping people and this is a really good way to help them! Sitting and just being sad won't help anyone. Not me, not those who are gone, and not anyone else. It's lonely and who wants to be lonely?"

Yu wouldn't want them to be sad and lonely, Diarmuid knows that. Sure, it's okay to be sad sometimes, but lingering...that is when things get bad. That is when the emotions take a person over and keep them from living.

"The best way to honor someone who is gone is to live on with them in your heart. It is what they would want!"

He understands the boy's stance, and for a long time he had the same feelings about it. But recently, he's had points where he's just been too tired to do anything other than sitting and being sad.

"It is," he agrees after taking a long sip of his tea. But even as he says it, the cynical, hurt part of him has to wonder how it matters what they would want, since they're gone.

... not that he would admit that. He's self-aware enough to realize he's got a fatalistic way of thinking and that it isn't the best way to live. He wouldn't try to push that onto anyone, let alone a boy as hopeful as Diarmuid.

Diarmuid frowns slightly. Shinju's words don't seem to have convinced him, but at the same time, he knows that people deal with pain in different ways. He can't make Shinju feel better. All he can do is make sure his friend knows he's not alone.

The boy leans forward to set his cup on the table and then leans over so he can give Shinju a hug the best he can with Lir in his lap. He doesn't say anything else. He just hopes the hug says what he wants to say instead.

Shinju hugs back with his free arm, taking in a deep breath. He still feels like he hardly knows the boy, but here he is, doing his best to cheer him up. He really is a generous soul.

"Thanks, Diarmuid," he says quietly. "I mean it. I don't want you to think I'm trying to just ignore what you're saying... I just have a hard time thinking of nice things these days."

"It's okay. I understand. Sometimes words and hugs just aren't enough to drive away all the bad," Diarmuid snuggles closer to Shinju, not caring that his friend's clothes are still wet. "But at least you know you aren't alone. I am here with you and you can come visit me whenever you are too lonely or feel too bad. We don't even have to talk. You can just come and be here with me and the puppies and Lir and my brother if he is home."

"Yeah, I know," he replies, taking a deep breath, "you really help me remember that."

He sits back, but doesn't move so far away that Diarmuid will have to move to continue sitting next to him. After taking a sip of his tea, he sets it back on the table.

"I'm... going to move, I think. To the second building. I think it's better if I don't have to think about all the empty space."

Diarmuid nods in understanding, then carefully gathers his mug back up again, "I don't blame you. If my brother was sent away I..." he pauses for a moment because it's hard to think about something like that happening, "...wouldn't want to stay here alone either. It would be too hard."

Of course, Diarmuid's brother has been here with him since the very first day that he arrived. Almost the first minute! There aren't going to be many places he can go and not be reminded should the day come that his brother is sent away.

"Yeah."

Shinju may not have spent as much time around Yu as Diarmuid has around Cu Chulainn, but he met his friend on the same day, when they first arrived. It's difficult enough to think about someone who's been there the whole time disappearing; it's even worse experiencing it.

"I'll let you know where I end up moving, and I'll still come over to help you cook when you want. I'm glad these buildings are close together..."

"Thank you! I will make you a housewarming present!" It will probably only be a few hand drawn pictures, but they will still be drawn with lots of love, "Oh! Maybe we can cook something the day you move. It will break the place in!"

And maybe literally break the place in. Shinju might want to be the one who is doing most of the cooking just to make sure his new place doesn't catch on fire the first day he is there...

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