rekindleme | And back again [open]

Entry tags:

And back again [open]

Who: Steve Rogers and anyone
Where: Tony's room and around the city
When: February 23rd
Summary: Steve comes back after staying in his world for about 70 years. Cue making sure that Tony is okay and reorienting himself with Saeng Seong.
Warnings: Steve being a grumpy old man.

[Locked to Tony]

Steve wasn't very happy, to say the least. He thought that he would be getting a little time to himself after the battle in New York, time to maybe adjust to the new era or at least see how much had changed since his frozen slumber in the ice. But no, he woke up in another unfamiliar place without any warning. Of course the unfamiliar place became familiar once his memories came rushing back. Saeng Seong, right. He was... small when he was last here. It seemed so long ago. Steve briefly wondered if any of his friends were still here, how much time had passed in this place.

Oh, and Tony. He was here before. So was Loki- and okay, he needed to see if his teammate was alright and if Loki had done anything since his disappearance. Exploring the city would need to come after.

With that task in mind, Steve headed to Tony's apartment and knocked on his door, trying to remain calm despite the frustration he was feeling. He was getting sick of being transported to places without knowing how much time had passed.

[option a; open]

After being reassured that Loki hadn't done anything destructive yet and getting an explanation on how much time had passed, Steve decided that it would be a good time to walk around Saeng Seong again. Although, barely any time had passed since he was gone, almost the opposite of how it was on Earth.

Figures. A small part of him wished that only three days passed when he took the plane down.

Still, he had to do this. It wasn't like he remembered every single detail of this city... and he just really needed the fresh air. So Steve could be found around the districts, stopping every so often at different shops with a look of surprise. Surprise that it remained unchanged even though he knew it had only been a short amount of time. Or Steve could be seen walking down the street and turning his head at everything in almost a daze.

[option b; open]

Afterward, Steve was just sitting down on a bench in the park, staring down at his folded hands and looking a bit distracted. He needed a little time to take this all in still. Maybe he was overreacting, but just seeing the city almost unchanged... it was just a bit mind-boggling to him.

"Just three days..." Steve mumbled to himself, although his voice was clear enough to be heard. He also was a little angry about everything, but he tried to keep things to himself as he sat there on the bench.

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Oh, boy. One who knew Tony. And judging by that big dumb look of concern on his face, one from after the battle in New York.

One who would talk about it.

"Great," Tony responded without much enthusiasm. As if he needed more reminders.

And as expected, the idiot was asking if he was okay. Tony knew he looked like a wreck; he felt like a wreck. But he also knew the question wasn't actually whether he was okay. Rogers was asking if he needed help, and that was oh-so-very different. Tony needed Pepper--god how he missed Pepper--he would dare say he needed Rhodey or Happy or Banner. But Steve Rogers? Hell no. He missed the little dumbass when he left, but that was a far cry from wanting Captain America's pity.

"Yeah," he replied lightly before casually changing the subject. "God, you know, I'd invite you in, but my dinner party's already full, so..."

He glanced back into his apartment, where Marks 42-44 were seated around the table upon which Mark 45 was being born. Alright, maybe that wasn't exactly the picture of "okay," but if Tony was lucky Rogers might be scared off by new-fangled complicated technology.

Steve thought that Tony would have been a little happier that he came back as Captain America and not the skinny kid that could barely defend himself. They didn't get off to a great start in the Helicarrier, but Stark always seemed to mention Cap when he was here and small. But he waved it off for now, Tony obviously wasn't feeling too good and if Loki did do something while he was gone, he wouldn't blame Stark for being kinda angry at him.

"Loki. Did he do anything?" The implied "anything to you" was there, even if the statement was a bit more general. He took a quick look inside Tony's apartment, noticing the extra Iron Man suits seated around the table- on the table. Had he been working on all of that while he was gone? Steve looked even more concerned, not really scared by the technology at all. It was impressive that he could build all this, but this didn't exactly seem healthy. Has Stark even eaten lately?

"How long was I gone for?"

You'd have to be an idiot not to hear that implication, and while Tony Stark was many things, an idiot was not one of them.

"Well, ah," Tony said, speaking slowly as if to a very stupid person. "He tried to take over the world once, so yeah. You were there, pal. That darn memory of yours acting up again?"

It was an honest answer, really. Loki had brought the aliens. Loki set up the portal. Loki made whatever idiots were in charge desperate enough to send the nuke Tony had to carry into that black abyss. And it was Loki's fault now that Tony had to struggle to keep his breathing steady and his heart from racing.

He heard Steve speak, but it took a moment to register his words because wow, thinking about New York had been a really bad idea. Tony blamed Rogers.

"What? Oh. Couple of days? That's when I noticed." Tony shrugged, hoping his shoulders weren't shaking noticeably. Damn, anxiety attacks sucked.

"I don't exactly see you every day."

Steve didn't looked amused by the answer. He wasn't sure if Tony was deliberately being an asshole about this or really just thought he was talking about the battle in New York. "I was referring to Loki here. He was in Saeng Seong the last time I was here." Miraculously, he kept his temper in check, even though he was feeling even grumpier than before. Stark just did that to people. It didn't help that his memory of this place wasn't all clear either.

But he let out a low exhale, he just needed to remember that Stark wasn't looking too good. That something was obviously affecting him. He needed to know what that was because even though Stark was one of the most aggravating people he'd ever talked to, Steve still cared about him.

"You... did all that in just a couple of days?" He waved over to the suits that were surrounding the table as he ignored how his own heart raced at the news. Just a couple of days, not 70 years here. Everything would mostly be the same- was basically the same. The opposite of New York. Steve wasn't sure if this made him feel better or worse.

Oh, god, that dumb face was getting worse. Rogers was also obviously making a valiant effort to stay polite, which could only mean that Tony looked even worse than he thought. Crap.

Fortunately, Steve's idiocy was enough to pull his thoughts away from... things that should not be mentioned, and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I know, obviously. No, he hasn't 'done anything'." He supplied the air quotes just in case it wasn't clear that he'd heard that implication, fixing Steve with a disparaging look. If Rogers was going to try to mother hen him, he could at least have the decency to be upfront about it.

"Weeks, not days," he corrected casually. "You didn't come to visit, it's pretty rude. You were pretty rude. Look, are you gonna need a play-by-play of what you did here? Because you're going to want to ask one of your buddies for that, not me."

Steve looked relieved that Loki hadn't hurt Stark- anyone here yet. He was relieved enough to ignore Tony's air quotes and look. But the Asgardian was still most likely scheming something, the guy always had plans. Even in a relatively peaceful city such as this. Tony must have the same thought, it would explain all if these Iron Man suits.

He wondered if Tony needed this many though. Of course it was good to have backup, but still...

At the rude comment, he looked elsewhere for a moment, not maintaining eye contact with Tony. "Yeah, didn't know you then. And you were right about what happened to me." Steve decided not to bring up too much stuff though. "Not gonna apologize for being rude to you though." He bit back the 'you're still an asshole' comment, even though his opinion of Tony was now better than before.

"Don't need a play-by-play. Just want to know why you aren't looking so good now." Maybe he was just that worried about Loki? Still, Steve thought it would be best to just ask him straight instead of pondering these things.

It wouldn't have been hard to deflect the inquiry. Tony'd hid that he was dying from the people who knew him best for months, so redirecting Rogers would've been a piece of cake... Except for the fact that hiding the palladium poisoning had nearly killed him. And the fact that Rogers was kinda a teammate, and what was it Rhodey had said? Something about not being a lone gunslinger? Whatever.

Also Pepper would literally kill him if he got into the pattern of not telling people things again. Even if "people" was only Steve Rogers.

"Anxiety issue," he said quickly. There. That didn't count as lying. Just... not elaborating.

"And, uh, sorry, you're saying I look bad, and not apologizing for being a loud-mouthed little twerp? Wow. You really know how to make a guy feel loved, Rogers. How did you sell anything in the war?"

Steve was actually a little surprised that Tony admitted what was actually going on with him. He thought there would have been a little more resistance or deflecting, especially since the two of them weren't exactly close. So hearing Stark actually tell him... maybe it was his way of trying to make this Avengers thing work.

So it was an anxiety issue... perhaps something similar to what some of the soldiers experienced? Stark did go through a traumatic experience back in New York and Loki coming back probably did nothing to help it. "Because Loki is here now, you've been building all these suits." He had a worried expression still. "Not saying that everything will be better. But if he does something again, we'll face him, together."

Steve wasn't very good at all this, but he wanted to try and be a good teammate and leader.

"And don't change the topic, Stark." He didn't want to push the issue too much, but he didn't want it to be brushed aside either. Steve paused for a moment, deciding to at least say something about that last comment though. "But if you want to know, the dancing choir girls had a large influence. Most of it, to be honest."

Tony just... stared at Steve.

See, this? This is why he didn't want to say anything. Because that stupid inspirational speech--we'll face him, together--was in a way worse than what Rogers had told him a year ago, that he wasn't a hero. At least that was true. This... This was like getting a gift from Santa and knowing you deserve coal. And having to tell him.

How was Tony supposed to tell Captain America that he couldn't do this? That he was just a guy, that he didn't know what the hell he was doing? Steve Rogers flew into a cold, dark abyss and came out with some culture shock and a few anger issues. Tony Stark did it and couldn't sleep without nightmares or think about New York without panicking.

Tony shoved his trembling hands in his pockets with a heavy sigh.

"You're right, you do need the girls to sell anything."

Steve wondered if that wasn't the right thing to say. Tony just kept on... staring at him, without saying anything. It was a little awkward, but Steve didn't think that Stark would want a hug or anything like that from him. Maybe place a hand on his shoulder? But not now, it didn't seem right.

He ignored Tony's comment about the girls and continued on with the anxiety topic. "...Can't sleep?" He took a guess at that, but if Tony had been having an anxiety problem and working on these suits... plus his haggard look. Steve himself had trouble sleeping still, he didn't want to sleep that much anyway. Even after the Avengers, nightmares were still a common thing for him. That wouldn't simply go away.

He was hesitant to tell Tony any of this, he wasn't good about talking about this stuff, and would his teammate look down at him? Think he wasn't a good enough leader anymore? Of course Stark just admitted something on his own and Steve didn't think he was weaker or anything like that. Maybe he was just the one that had difficulty fully trusting his teammates.

Tony was regretting this. A lot. Why did he think sharing anything with Rogers was a good idea? Oh, right, because he was stuck here with Rogers and only Rogers, and the Asgardian God of Rock was skulking around somewhere.

And Tony hadn't slept in--what was it up to now? 74 hours? Sounded about right.

He heaved a loud sigh, looking upwards with a tiny exasperated shake of his head. When he looked back at Steve, it was with the most sullen, deadpan expression in his arsenal.

"What, ah, inspiring teamwork crap are you gonna try to sell me if I say yes?"

Tony only seemed to get more annoyed by him and Steve didn't quite understand what he did wrong. He was still worried about him, which was why he asked these questions, and he thought about mentioning his lack of sleep, but it didn't seem like a good idea anymore. It was clear that Stark barely tolerated him, not even when he was Captain America.

"I wasn't trying to sell you anything." He couldn't stop himself from getting a little angry though, even if Stark wasn't feeling well, Steve still had a bit of a temper when it came to his attitude. "Just wanted to see if I could do anything to help."

Tony gave Steve a highly doubtful face before looking away with an eyeroll. He could do this, right? Normal, boringass people did this, so why not Tony Stark? Not that he routinely strove for normal but--you know what, nevermind. It's the principle of the matter.

He glanced back at Rogers, narrowing his eyes. Maybe if he squinted he could see the skinny kid he kinda liked--in an annoying way--instead of the dreaded Cap Face that made Tony want to suckerpunch it off Steve's big stupid head. The height difference made it difficult. Also the hundred extra pounds of muscle. Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose. Not that either of them would be easily convinced of the truth, that Tony couldn't be helped. At least not by Rogers' teamwork-friendship bullshit.

With a defeated sigh, he backed up to open the door wider and retreated into his apartment, muttering something about clearly not getting rid of the big idiot, which was about as much invitation as Steve was going to get. DUM-E whirred quizzically in one corner of the room.

"How long, JARVIS?"

"You are currently at just under 77 hours, sir."

Damn. Even his counting was off.

Steve just stood there with that forever little frown on his face, even as Tony narrowed his eyes and squinted at him. He wasn't sure what Stark was thinking and he wasn't about to ask, not until he at least said something in return. He just had to keep this up and not blow up on him, which should be easier right? It wasn't like he hated Stark anymore even if the guy still got on his nerves a lot.

Plus, anxiety and not much rest. Needed to remember that. Go past Stark's bullshit and see what he could do. He was always the stubborn type anyway.

Oh, and he opened the door more. Guess that was a good sign. Steve took the invitation to walk in and closed the door behind him, ignoring the muttering that Stark was making. He heard what he was saying, but he was just going to ignore that for now. No use getting kicked out right after he got in.

And 77 hours? What did that- no. It took Steve a few seconds to get what he meant. "You need sleep, Stark." Well, that was a dumb comment, Stark obviously was having trouble sleeping. Steve wasn't sure how he could really make that easier for him either. "Or at least try to rest. These suits can wait."

Edited 2014-03-08 11:59 (UTC)

"Rogers, I know this is hard for you and all," Tony quipped, taking his seat at the table in front of the Mark 45. "But could you maybe try not to say anything mind-blowingly stupid for like... five minutes?"

He glanced at Steve, and then at the junkpile he called Mark 43 seated primly in one of the other chairs. He could move it, let Rogers sit there. He could.

Yep. Definitely could.

Tony shrugged and dug his hands into the innards of Mark 45.

"Also, quit with the voice. At ease, soldier, whatever the hell they say." There was barely a pause as Tony continued to speak, only the slight shift in tone to more of a mutter marking the subject change.

"Also also, it's been a year. For me." The since New York was implied. "Still can't sleep. So anything you're gonna tell me to try, I've tried."

Steve tightly clenched his fists by his sides in an effort to not sock Tony in the face. That wouldn't go over well, but Stark made it very difficult to resist that temptation sometimes. Instead, he just looked away from him to stare at one of the Iron Man suits lying around the table. He wasn't tying to do what Tony wanted of him, but he didn't know what to say that wouldn't start another argument between them.

So he just stood there awkwardly for a while. But he wasn't going to leave, not yet.

"What voice?" Steve genuinely didn't know what Tony was talking about now. He always sounded like this nowadays. And a year? Since... New York? That was surprising to him, guess he shouldn't have assumed that Tony was from the same exact time.

"You've been going that long without decent sleep?" A lot of his anger from earlier deflated at the news. It seemed like he switched between worrying about Tony to wanting to punch him a lot.

Tony eyed Steve when he clenched his fists, idly wondering why Rogers didn't go ahead and punch him if he was that pissed. Then again, he'd asked the tiny Rogers a similar question and gotten some kind of bullshit about not being into hitting people. Not that Cap ever seemed to have a problem with it.

Whatever.

"You didn't talk like that when you were scrawny, so I know it's not your real voice," Tony said flatly, turning back to his suit. "Just do us both a favor and drop it. I don't need a leader or inspirational Captain America bullcrap. I don't need help and I don't need advice. I'm not even telling you this because I like you."

Tony heaved an impossibly tired sigh and hunched over the partial armor, for a moment weary sadness leaking into his posture before it was replaced by casual poise with a shrug and a glance at Steve.

"I'm telling you because you're the only one here." Only ally. Only one who's not a damn kid. Closest thing to a friend in this stupid place.

"And yeah," he muttered. "Been that long. And you were here for half of that, so yeah, that's gotta sting a little."

"You also asked me before how I was responsible." Steve managed to bit out, his voice definitely frustrated once more. And what, he didn't sound like he was before? Stark of all people should know that people change. "Well, I'm trying to be now. You always talked about Captain America and wanted him here." That was what he thought at least, but now Stark didn't want Cap or even a leader. Steve didn't really get it.

"And clearly you need help, Stark. Going for a year like this isn't healthy and you know it too." He couldn't stop himself from looking a little hurt by Tony's comment though. So he was only trusted with this information because he was the last resort. It stung, but Steve tried to push it down, keep his face neutral.

He felt a little bad for not noticing it earlier, but he couldn't change the past. He just needed to do something about it now. "I'm not going away or ignoring it now." Even if his earlier attempts were blown off, Steve didn't want to leave Tony by himself. Not until he got some rest at least.

"You're not responsible for me, Rogers!" Tony snapped, turning suddenly to glare at Steve.

Almost immediately, though, he looked away, anger cooling rapidly. His gaze fell to his hands--damn, note to self: don't work with 30 gauge wire around Rogers.

"I don't know where you're getting your information," he grumbled, putting the broken wire aside. At least he wasn't working with the soldering iron. "Because I'm really not the poster boy of the Captain America fanclub. I mean... Okay, we both fly into a cold, dark abyss with a nuke. Look at how you come out."

He gestured at Steve.

"Now look at... this." And another lethargic wave at himself and the general area. He let the hand flop back into his lap and stared morosely at the table.

"I'm screwed up, Rogers, and I'm out of ideas to fix it. I built the suits because... because for a long time it was just me here, and I had to protect these people. And because if I get caught without one, if I don't have a suit, I'm just a guy. I'm not a super soldier or a god or a super anything. I'm just a man in a can up there flying around fooling himself. And I don't need a big star-spangled reminder of that following me around."

Steve's retort died when Tony continued to talk, his eyebrows furrowing as he listened to him. He knew about Tony's sacrifice, going into that portal, but he never thought that his experience with the ice was relatable. Not before now, at least. The cold abyss, drowning before being frozen in the ice. He still had nightmares about it, probably couldn't be in freezing temperatures for that long if Steve was honest with himself.

And Tony thought that he dealt with all that? At least in a healthy manner? He was comparing his state to Steve's supposed wellness... Maybe he should mention his own nightmares, it seemed like Tony understood to some degree at least. And just let him know that he wasn't perfect or anything like that either.

"Tony..." There was a lot Steve wanted to say to him. Reassure him that he wasn't just a man in a can that flew around like a fool, that he was a hero. Maybe he didn't have anything 'super,' but Steve didn't think less of Tony for that reason. Stark was a genius, an irritating and arrogant one, but still a genius that wasn't just about show. Steve didn't think he was better than Tony for being a super soldier either, far from it.

He wanted to say all that, voice those thoughts.

"You're an idiot."

...That wasn't what he intended, really.

As soon as Steve said his name, Tony knew he'd made a mistake. Well, lumped a mistake on top of a huge pile of mistakes. He really should have gotten rid of the guy when he had the chance.

Rogers just wouldn't get it. He couldn't. It wouldn't calculate in that stupid optimistic brain of his no matter how much Tony tried to beat it into him. Tony braced himself for the next onslaught of this isn't healthy or you really are a hero, I believe in you or--

Wait. What?

Tony sat up straight, turning to Steve with a thoroughly bewildered look. Did... Did he just call Tony Stark an idiot? Tony glanced behind him on the slight chance that maybe Rogers had spotted something more deserving of 'idiot' behind him... like DUM-E. Or a mirror.

He looked back at Steve, switching through an array of frowns. Really, how was someone with an unquantifiable IQ supposed to respond to this?

His face finally settled on perplexed and even slightly impressed, and he crossed his arms.

"Gotta say. Didn't actually see that coming."

"Guess I'm full of surprises." Part of Steve felt that he should apologize for calling him an idiot, but he felt that wouldn't go over well with Tony. Also, Tony was being an ass and making him angry before, so Steve allowed himself that 'insult.' So, no choice but to continue on, maybe actually voice some of the things he wanted to say to him. Although, he wasn't counting on Tony to look a little impressed by his comment.

Figures. Try and be supportive only to get brushed off. Call him an idiot and get his full attention. Guess it's a Tony Thing... and maybe Steve understood him a little bit more now. Sorta. Still, he was going to try this again.

"You don't have super powers, but you're a genius. The one that built Iron Man, you are him." Steve still wasn't fully saying what he meant, but better than his last attempt. "But honestly, there's no easy way to fix you, any of us- I mean"

Steve paused for a moment, obviously struggling to admit something to him. He knew that he wasn't emotionally healthy, not dealing with all his issues, but to actually say them out loud to another person... it was difficult. He wasn't the type to bleed on others, he just wanted to appear strong so that people wouldn't be disappointed in him. They pulled him out of the ice so he could do more good.

"...I get nightmares, can't sleep most of the time. Dream about the ice too often. The war."

Tony leaned back in his chair a little to watch Steve struggle to recover from calling him an idiot. Rude, much?

Attempt one apparently was to say Tony was a genius. True, but a pretty obvious backpedal. Real smooth, Rogers. Next was the usual I am Iron Man shtick. Why did Rogers feel the need to remind him of all this? It wasn't like he would forget.

Tony scowled at one of the new suits at the table. It was a piece of shit, really. Sure, to anyone who wasn't, well, him it probably still looked bitchin', but it was a pile of junk. They all were, to some extent even the Mark 42. He cocked his head with a puzzled frown. And he expected these to stand up to Loki? Even Rogers saw how pointless that was--and this was the guy who thought going into the army as 90-pound kid with twigs for bones was a good idea.

Oh, hell no. Not acceptable. Tony Stark was a genius. He built Iron Man in a cave out of spare missiles. He'd stared death in the face more times than he cared to count (not more than he could count, that number was far, far higher) and given it a big ole one fingered salute. Surely he could MacGyver together something good enough to take on a bitchy goth-phase Asgardian with the tech he'd squirreled away and one dumbass super soldier. Speaking of...

Tony looked back to Steve still with that odd tilt to his head, just in time to see the soldier having some kind of internal crisis. Only to confess that he couldn't sleep either. Ugh, insomnia was such old news, Rogers. Get with it.

He suspected Steve's reluctance was not due to pride, though. Unfortunately, non-selfish motives were kind of outside Tony's area. And Rogers tended to be self-deprecating, if the tiny version screeching about not being Captain America was anything to go on. Maybe that was it? Being compared to Cap sucked... so Tony could grudgingly accept that maybe being Cap sucked even more.

He was supposed to say something supportive. Or grateful. Or amiable. Fraternal, even. Tony shrugged.

"Okay," he replied brightly.

It wasn't like he felt better when he admitted that out loud, it really didn't work like that. Maybe he should've kept quiet about it, but it was too late to take it back now. He thought it was a good time to bring it up, but maybe Stark still didn't want to hear this. The billionaire had been quiet for a while now and Steve wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

He might had appreciated the silence some other time, but not now.

And after all that, Tony just uttered one word. Well, that was... surprising. He didn't laugh or seem to look down at him though, so that was a plus. Steve wasn't expecting anything real comforting from him anyway. "Guess what I'm getting at is... I'm not prefect and you shouldn't compare yourself to me."

"Couple decades too late for that, Cap," Tony said with a little humorless chuckle.

Oh, back to Cap. How long had it been since he called Rogers 'Cap'?

"People've been comparing themselves to you for 70 years, Rogers, I don't think that's gonna change any time soon."

Shit, that was going to make him go back into Captain America mode, wasn't it? Tony kicked himself mentally. Right when he had a... empathetic... sympathy... understanding-ish thing with the big idiot, too.

"But, you know," he sighed. "I appreciate you trying. E for effort and all that."

And back again [open]

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