(no subject)

[hellfire_gouka]

Who: Shinju Gouka and his friends (Pilouette, Steve, Yu)
Where: District 5, 4, and his apartment
When: 24th to the 28th
Summary: Memory switch time!
Warnings: Memories of physical abuse, death, mentions of suicide attempt, yadda yadda

Shinju had given up trying to be cheerful 24/7, if he was completely honest. Of course he was still mostly smiles and humor with his friends, but trying to keep himself from thinking about returning home and the things Saeng Seong can do was a futile endeavor, and he was well aware of it. It was starting to become clear to him that he couldn't go back to the normal life he wanted and that he may be forced to move forward soon. He was starting to think that maybe he should prepare himself for it.

(Un)fortunately, it seemed the city had decided to help him out by making him face some of his worst memories by exposing them to others.

[Pilouette: District 5]

Shinju hoped that the myriad of things there was to do in the entertainment district would be enough to distract him, so he was out on the boardwalk getting snacks for himself and Pilouette for whenever she arrived. He let out a sigh as he stepped away from the stand, and soon he found himself staring at the river and getting lost in thought.

[Steve: District 4]

When he wasn't trying to distract himself, Shinju figured that the best place to mope around with no one seeing him was the spacious and peaceful park district. Though he'd brought a sandwich, it lay untouched as he sat on the edge of the pond, arms resting on his knees as he kicked a pebble in and watched the water ripple.

[Yu: Their apartment, 28th]

At this point Shinju had become well aware of what was going on and he was not happy. Some of his closest friends were exposed to some of his worst memories. Having that happen, being reminded of those things, as well as experiencing terrible things from his friends' pasts was too much. So instead of going to work or doing anything that day, he holed up in his room. Maybe if he just stayed in bed nothing else would happen.

He already dreamed of a little sister dying and barely stopping himself from throwing her sort-of murderer to certain death. He'd recognized the faces of Kanji and Naoto in the memory and just hoped to god that Yu hadn't seen anything awful.

Comments

[ribbonbon]

Pilouette always looked forward to hanging out with Shinju and today was no exception. She walks about a bit looking for him, occasionally stopping and standing on her toes to try and get a better look among the small crowds that always seemed to be present in District 5. She soon spots him near the river and starts over, calling out to him when she gets close.

"Shinju! Hey! I didn't keep you waiting too long, did I?"

[hellfire_gouka]

Shinju manages to pull himself out of his thoughts when he hears Pilouette's greeting, though it takes a second for him to offer her his usual friendly smile in return.

"No, not at all," he says, then looks down and remembers the snacks in his hands. "Oh, here--pick one. I wasn't sure what you'd be in the mood for."

There's a stick of cotton candy in one hand and a bag of popcorn in the other being offered to her. He didn't think it'd be a proper outing on the boardwalk if they didn't enjoy some of the food there.

[ribbonbon]

"Oh! Hey, thanks!" she says, looking between the two snacks for a moment, as it's truly a difficult decision. She noticed that tiny delay, but decides to dismiss it for now. Maybe he's just tired...? After a few seconds, true to her own tastes, she reaches for the cotton candy her hand brushing against his. "Well, I'll hold the cotton candy, but maybe we can share it! Cotton candy and popcorn taste best together, you kn-...?"

She stops short as a strange feeling suddenly comes over her and she begins remembering things that she...well, doesn't remember. Love letters falling out of a locker on Valentine's Day...noticing that one letter that never comes hasn't come this year, either. Her face flushes a bit as memories of being teased about all those letters and rebuffing the jokes enter her mind. After a few moments, her mind comes back to the present, her eyes wide and face flushed.

What was that? Those emotions, those memories...they weren't hers. They couldn't be. For one, she's never gotten a love letter in her life. She's not sure just what happened, but she definitely recognized one of those voices. She blinks hard and shakes her head, a bit dazed.

"Wh...what the...?"

[hellfire_gouka]

The beginning of a chuckle leaves him as she reaches for the sweeter option (as he expected), but he finds himself frozen for a moment as unfamiliar things come to his own mind. He certainly had no recollection of having a crush on anyone before, much less in a store he's never seen, much less on a guy. Not that he can't--but that isn't the point, he insists to himself as his ears get hot and he feels his heart pounding. It's an unexpected sensation, to say the least.

He notices that Pilouette appears to be about as flustered as he feels. He wants to brush it off and figure out what's going on, but nothing is registering thanks to the rush of the intruding memory.

"Um."

[ribbonbon]

Still a bit flushed, Pilouette exhales and for a moment she stares at her hands, having stopped just short of actually taking that cotton candy. Her mind is still chugging along trying to process it all. She draws her hands back and reaches up to nervously tug on her ponytail. She glances from side to side as she tries to figure out how to address...whatever that was.

"S-So. Um...that. That like, just happened, right?" she asks, giving her hair a nice sharp tug.

[hellfire_gouka]

"I--uh. Yeah."

He let his hands fall to his sides, glad he hadn't dropped the snacks during the... memory thing. He recalled the previous day when something similar happened, but what he had gotten then was much, much worse. He could only hope that the case was the same this time, and that whatever Pilouette saw wasn't some terrible secret he'd been trying to keep. It didn't appear that she had, at least, given her reaction.

He coughed a little awkwardly.

"You... saw something, right?"

[ribbonbon]

"Uh...Y-Yeah, yeah, I did," she replies.

Still fiddling with her hair, she tilts her head from side to side nervously. She's reminded briefly of the ghostly visions she saw months and months ago, except...this time she thinks she's just seen memories not only belonging to a living person but to a living person she knows. She's not sure what to say, really, if anything. From what she saw (or should that be felt?) he was pretty embarrassed. ...But wait, if he knew she saw something then...

"...Did you?"

[hellfire_gouka]

"Yeah. S-something about a... store clerk." He holds onto the details for now, not wanting to embarrass her if it's something she doesn't want to talk about. He shifts his weight, looking away awkwardly but trying to shrug it off like it's no big deal.

"It's a memory of yours, I think. Something like that happened yesterday, when I was hanging out with someone else."

[ribbonbon]

A memory of hers? She's seen a ton of store clerks over the years, but from the way Shinju's acting she wonders just what it is he saw. She's not sure if she's relieved that what happened wasn't some weird spooky thing between them or alarmed that, from the sound of it, the same thing could occur again.

"So, I guess what I saw was one of your memories...," she replies, quietly. "Valentine's Day or...something. I dunno."

She lets out an awkward cough, unsure of whether or not she should elaborate on that.

[callmewhateveryuwant]

If Yu had thought of his roommate was anyone but normal, obviously he was wrong after that little unwanted dream. Just the look in the man's eyes sent shivers down his spine, reminder of the many Shadows he had fought before. The young man knew that things were a bit crazy with others sharing memories because Yu had gotten some of them. But this was his good friend, someone who he felt like he could share anything with. He didn't know many who he considered that close and to think Shinju went through something like that...it hurt.

And it needed to be addressed.

Thankfully Banchou was out and about doing god knows what and he could ask his friend what was going on. He knocked on Shinju's bedroom door and called out.

"Hey, you got a minute?"

[hellfire_gouka]

Shinju barely had the drive to make his voice audible, as it either would require him to force himself to speak loudly or move his face away from his pillow. What ended up coming to Yu's ears was a weary "What is it," the sound muffled by the cloth and door. He really didn't want to move from under his covers and the darkness that helped him think less about what he'd seen and what his roommate might have seen. He expected the worst.

[callmewhateveryuwant]

"Mind if I come in?"

He wanted to just open the door and ask what that memory he saw and who would be so cruel to his friend, but it wasn't right to demand answers. What if Shinju saw something much worse and him bursting in would just make it all go to hell.

[hellfire_gouka]

Being well-acquainted with his roommate's stubborn tendencies, Shinju didn't see the point to refusing. Yu would just confront him about whatever he saw later. He didn't know if it would be better to get it over with or not, but it was that or dread it until they finally spoke about it.

"'S fine," he replied, still not moving from where he lay.

[callmewhateveryuwant]

The door creaked open and Yu spotted his friend lying on the bed with his face covered up by his pillow. Was he not feeling well or was it due to seeing something he shouldn't have? The mattress had gotten a little heavier once the Fool decided to sit down next to Shinju. He needed to ask about the memory he saw but he also needed to be considerate of Shinju's feelings too.

"Are you feeling alright?"

There might have been a hidden 'look at me' in there too.

[hellfire_gouka]

"No."

Shinju didn't hesitate to answer. He knew it was pointless to lie, so why bother? Everything seemed pointless; he couldn't even get some time alone. At least he could continue to lie there and not move, despite hearing the request in Yu's voice.

"Are you."

[callmewhateveryuwant]

"Depends on what you can define as 'alright'."

While Shinju may have wanted some alone time, Yu was the opposite. That familiar sinking feeling when he faced Adachi...fought against Izanami...he was trying to fight back against it. To be honest, he felt like curling up against something, concerned about the memory and who exactly that man was. Instead, he spoke again.

"Did you ever see something...like it didn't belong to you?"

[hellfire_gouka]

"Few times this week, yeah," he mumbled, dread evident in his voice. He pulled the covers a little closer around him, fearing the worst. At this point, it was less about what Yu might have seen, and more that he'd have to be reminded of it. He had a lot of things he'd tried very hard in the past year to forget.

[noparachute]

Steve often went to the park himself, he found the open area to be calming and just nice to walk through overall. He especially needed it after these past couple of nights, where unfamiliar images appeared in his mind. Not only that, but most of them were tragic or traumatic. What was going on? He needed to sort through everything.

He was walking along the edge of the pond when he noticed Shinju sitting by it. His friend was one of those people that were involved with the memories he saw. Steve wasn't completely sure if they were actually real, but he doubted that they were fake. They were a bit too specific in their content.

Although, if he saw something involving his friend, did he see something as well? It was possible, things worked as a duo in this city after all.

Steve should ask, he didn't think something like this should be ignored. Unfortunately, Shinju wasn't too pleased with him because of their last conversation, but he hoped that they could still talk. "Shinju?"

[hellfire_gouka]

Hearing Steve's voice was one of the last things he wanted to do right now. It brought back the memory he'd seen, the utter nightmare that had ended with the same voice screaming Bucky! and watching the brown-haired man fall to certain death. He hadn't missed the feelings of blaming himself, either. Add to that whatever Steve had seen of his and it meant a conversation that was going to be anything but comfortable.

"Hey, Steve," he replied with a quiet voice, not turning to look at his friend in the fear that he might not be able to keep any tears at bay.

[noparachute]

Shinju definitely didn't sound all too happy about seeing him, but guess he couldn't really blame him for that. He probably had a rough week, Steve was having one due to all of the memory stuff going on around here. Shinju was probably going through the same thing and he knew that the young man had several things that he wanted to keep to himself.

Heck, he saw one a memory that fits into that description.

He saw Shinju attempting to shoot a young girl, only to fail and get stabbed in the chest. Apparently it was the only way to escape, at least in his eyes. Escape that man, who Steve could already guess was the same guy that he didn't want to confront back home. But... Steve didn't know that Shinju wanted to kill himself, that was a rather big surprise to him. He never thought that his friend would think something like that. It was a little hard to take in if Steve was honest about it.

"Rough day?" Guess he could try to start the conversation slow before jumping straight into memory talk. He wondered what memory Shinju got of his and he silently hoped that it wasn't anything too big. Steve didn't want him to worry about him too much.

[hellfire_gouka]

Shinju took a slow breath before replying, trying to brace himself for the conversation, but he didn't move from where he sat just yet.

"Rough week, more like," Shinju replied, trying to keep his mind off the memories. Just thinking about it while hearing Steve's voice was enough to make his nose and eyes sting.

[noparachute]

Steve walked a bit closer to him until he was standing by his side, although he didn't sit down yet, choosing to look out at the water as they talked. This felt familiar, the last time they had a conversation Shinju was kinda like this and everything went a bit sour after that. Unfortunately, he didn't think this time was going to be any better.

Especially since Shinju was already in a bad mood, but Steve didn't blame him at all.

"Our deepest memories switched." He looked serious, but there wasn't much trace of any other emotion on his face. "Not how I'd envision a teamwork exercise."

[hellfire_gouka]

Something that was probably supposed to be a laugh left him, but there was no humor behind it. It was just a noise.

A few moments passed before Shinju said anything. He didn't figure the conversation was going to get any easier, so he thought he might as well jump in. It was what Steve wanted to discuss, after all.

"I'm sorry about Bucky," he said quietly, not moving and trying not to think about the reasons behind the words.

[noparachute]

The color from Steve's face drained when Shinju mentioned Bucky. Of all the memories that his friend could see, it had to be that one. Of course. The memory of Bucky falling to his death was still fresh in his mind, it had only been a few months for him after all. Might be 70 years for most people back home, but Steve could still see it clearly.

The train, the cold. How he was inches away from grabbing him before the railing broke. His scream as he plummeted to the ground. And now Shinju had seen all this.

Steve should respond, say something. But nothing was coming to mind.

[hellfire_gouka]

Shinju finally turned to peek at Steve when he couldn't hear any response, though he had an idea of what the reaction might be. He let out a heavy sigh when he finally laid eyes on his face, knowing the pain Steve must have been feeling. He'd felt it first-hand, after all.

"It's not your fault, you know. I know saying that won't change how you feel, but you did everything you could."